My personal testimony: Breaking Free and Finding Joy in Christ
I was born into the church—a fourth-generation Adventist. My life was steeped in rules, doctrines, and traditions that I never thought to question. When my parents divorced when I was 13 (my father was an abusive narcissist), I walked away for a long time. I never stopped believing in God, but I also never really knew Him.
When my son was born, I returned. I even sent him to the same Adventist school I had attended. But as I watched him struggle in that system, I began to question. When I moved him to an open, non-denominational Christian school, he thrived—and that forced me to dig deep, to pray, and to seek truth.
The deeper I looked, the more unsettling questions rose in my heart:
Why do we need endless maps, charts, and timelines just to defend our faith?
Why do we turn to Ellen White’s books to explain the Bible instead of letting the Bible speak for itself?
Why do we condemn people who love Jesus—because of a day of the week?
Why are we hiding behind the words of a woman instead of living free in the words of Christ?
I had felt something was “off” my whole life. Ironically, my devout Adventist father helped me see it. He loved talk radio and called himself “The Verse,” debating Christians outside of Adventism. That exposure opened my eyes to a world of believers who weren’t weighed down by fear, rules, or legalism. They lived with joy and freedom. I wanted to know why.
Then came the verse that changed everything:
1 Corinthians 4:5 — “Therefore do not pronounce judgment before the time, before the Lord comes, who will bring to light the things now hidden in darkness and will disclose the purposes of the heart. Then each one will receive his commendation from God.”
For decades, I had read that as condemnation—because that’s what Adventism and Ellen White had taught me to see. But the Word said commendation. That discovery shattered me. It made me angry. It made me dig deeper.
And in that digging, the chains fell.
For the first time, I realized the gospel was simple: Christ died for my sins, and all I have to do is believe. No charts. No proof-text gymnastics. No condemnation. Just grace.
✨ Forty years of chains fell off my body.
✨ I discovered joy—not in Ellen White, but in Jesus.
✨ I no longer need to defend the gospel with a dozen books—the gospel defends itself.
✨ I don’t need to attack other Christians or condemn them—I get to love them as Christ does.
What I once carried as heavy bondage, I now see as freedom in Christ. I don’t have to keep proving, performing, or defending. I get to rest in His love.
Walking away from legalism was not walking away from God—it was walking into His arms. And now, my faith is not a list of rules, but a relationship.
If you have felt the weight of spiritual abuse, cult-like control, or religious trauma—please hear me: freedom is possible. Joy is possible. Jesus is enough.
📩 If you’re carrying the lasting weight of religious harm, I’d love to walk alongside you. Reach out today: jessica@restorationcounselingdsm.com
