Understanding Internal Family Systems: Healing Through Parts Work

Have you ever noticed that different "parts" of you react in different ways to stress, pain, or relationships? Maybe one part is angry, another is anxious, and yet another just wants to shut down completely. This inner complexity is completely normal—and in Internal Family Systems (IFS) therapy, it’s not just acknowledged but embraced as a powerful path to healing.

At Restoration Counseling LLC, I use IFS to help clients explore these internal parts with curiosity and compassion. Based on the model created by Dr. Richard Schwartz, IFS sees the mind as made up of distinct sub-personalities, or “parts,” each with their own roles, emotions, and perspectives. These parts fall into three main categories:

Exiles
These are the wounded, vulnerable parts—often carrying burdens from painful past experiences. Exiles may believe messages like “I’m not good enough” or “I’m shameful.” Because these parts are so sensitive, the system often tries to keep them buried to avoid emotional overwhelm.

Managers
These parts take charge to prevent the exile’s pain from surfacing. They may show up as perfectionism, people-pleasing, overthinking, or chronic anxiety. Their job is to maintain control and prevent future hurt.

Firefighters
When pain can’t be avoided, firefighters rush in to soothe or numb the distress. This can look like rage, substance use, binge eating, or dissociation—anything that temporarily silences the exile’s cries.

At the core of every person, though, is the Self—a calm, compassionate, wise presence that can relate to each part without judgment. When you begin to access and operate from your Self, your parts feel seen, heard, and supported. They no longer need to work so hard to protect you.

In IFS therapy, the goal isn’t to get rid of any part—it’s to build relationships between Self and parts, so healing can occur from the inside out.

If you’re tired of being ruled by internal chaos, self-criticism, or emotional shutdowns, you’re not broken. You’re just full of parts doing their best to protect you.

Let’s meet those parts together.

📩 Schedule an appointment today with Jessica at Restoration Counseling LLC by emailing jessica@restorationcounselingdsm.com
Reclaim your calm. Connect with your true Self. Start your healing journey now.

Photo credit to Crystalyn Jass Kirkpatrick